You know those people who sometimes call in sick for really no reason, or who take a “mental health day” off of work? I have never only when I was pregnant once or twice been one of those people. HOWEVER, I think it’s time to turn over a new leaf. And call in sick. And play hookie. And take a mental health breather. From this job where you NEVER GET A DAY OFF.

Don’t get me wrong- I love my job with a passion. But I think my employer and I have maybe been spending a little TOO much TIME together. We’ve kind of been getting on each other’s nerves lately. The employer is a very busy man who refuses to remain idle at any time during the day. While I, on the other hand, like to lay low and chill out in a chair every now and again. Since the employer’s acquisition of new responsibilities such as ‘running’, ‘exploring’, and ‘digging’ have taken place, I don’t feel I’m quite up for the job. I get tired. My back hurts. I can’t fulfill the requirement of “must be able to lift 20+ lbs”. The employer also seems to be transitioning from a two-naps-per-day regimen, to a one-miniscule-nap-per-day schedule. This, as you know, frees up more time in his day for extracurricular activities such as stroller tantrums, changing pad fits, and high chair screams.

I’ve asked, I’ve requested, I’ve tried to negotiate the terms of my employment. At my annual review this past April, I was sadly denied an increase in pay, vacation time, or a personal day.

So I guess what I’m saying is, I’d like to call in sick. For a total of 24 hours. I won’t be leaving any lesson plans, or numbers where I can be reached. I’m confident SubFinder can find me a highly-qualified replacement. For one day. One. It’s all I ask.

As for the employer…

…perhaps he’ll realize what a fabulous, hard-working employee I really am, and will let out nary a whine again.

Consider this a call for papers- er, make that- photographs!

I am running out of banner photographs of delicious looking fatty grub, and thought it would be fun to have FatJ readers get involved and help me out. Yes- I could just take my camera and hit up ice cream parlor after ice cream parlor (oh wait, I already do this) and take my own fatty boom batty pictures, but this will be much more exciting. Trust me.

Here are the rules: Submit to me, in full-size electronic format, a picture of a summery, delicious-looking FatJ-themed treat. (By FatJ-themed, I mean yummy, fatty, and yummy). It can be a picture you took today, or a picture you took years ago. I don’t really care, as long as it’s summer-themed, and looks tasty.

I guess since I’m using the word “contest”, I’m implying there will be a winner. All submissions will be used (unless you’re sending something grotesque, or that doesn’t apply to the strict rules stated above) and the photographer will be given credit for his/her work. IN ADDITION… I will personally select one photograph as my favorite (based on my wealth of knowledge of photography techniques, tee hee), and one LUCKY winner will receive the prize that was offered up during the last FatJ giveaway. {For some odd reason, I still happen to have this highly-coveted prize in my possession.}

Okay, ready to play? Happy snapping! (and eating).

How it got to be June 25th already, I do not know. My mother so kindly reminded me that today Ryan is fourteen months old. I seemed to completely miss the date…perhaps the milestone monthly dates don’t seem like such a big deal once the kid passes the 12 month mark?

Anyway, my *toddler* is quite the active little man. He loves being outside, “walking” the dog, pushing his wagon, and lounging in his pool. Now that the weather’s been nicer these past few weeks, we’ve gone on some adventures around the city, and I’ve been re-exploring many Minneapolis landmarks, toddler style.

Oh wait, but first…a non-Mpls picture. Two weeks ago we hit up the cabin. Ryan was obsessed with the lake. The weather was not super warm and the lake water was not warm at all. But Ryan kept trying to walk in the lake with his shoes on, so finally I decided I’d let him walk in (sans shoes & socks). So I roll up his pants, in he walks…and down he sits. Plop. He loved it. Of course I did not have my camera with me at that moment, and by the time the camera arrived Ryan was a frozen popsicle, so all I have is the ‘after’ shot of him trying to dry off and warm up on the dock. While holding an outlawed jarts circle turned hula hoop for good measure.

Meanwhile, back in Mpls… one day we went to Gold Medal Park and the Stone Arch Bridge area. Ryan loved running around at the top of the Gold Medal hill. (His new thing is to say “Hi!” to everyone, which he did that day in full force). Basically, I find it nearly impossible to take pictures of this child because he just won’t sit/stand still, so I always feel like I’m risking his (and/or my camera’s) safety when attempting to photograph him in action. Here’s one though- him rolling down the hill.

And then here we both are, as reflected in those mirrored square things outside the Guthrie.

Moving right along…last Friday we went to the Sculpture Garden (home of the famous spoon/cherry number, minus the snow) with Jen and Sophia. From there we hiked across the bridge to Loring Park, where we witnessed only one drug deal, and then found a fun park. The babies pooh-poohed the modern art, bridge architecture, and playground, preferring instead to spend their time in intense concentration whilst examining Sophia’s stroller. (???)

Their two heads…

And these two, just because I like them.

Ryan, in true tree-hugger fashion…

and Sophia…

Because Ryan and Sophia are such BFFs, today we had our first ever pool party. In our front yard. Oh yeah. Ryan spent most of his time IN the pool turning purple, while Sophia preferred a more lady-like experience outside of the pool.

My little swimmer, warming up in his sheep towel.

These two are really starting to notice one another and interact, which is so cute to watch! They were sitting next to each other warming up, and just started poking and touching each other’s faces…and giggling about it! (Until Sophia decided to take a bite out of Ryan’s finger). I know Jen felt bad that her daughter decided to snack on Ryan, but truly, no harm was done.

Keep the sunny nice days coming I say! We have many more fun places to explore!

I figured it was warm enough today to bust out Ryan’s inflatable pool that he was gifted on his first birthday. So I blew it up, filled it with water, and brought him out there. And then I realized that was dumb because it was about 30 seconds away from nap time, so then we had a bit of a fit of rage at being taken away from the pool. I feared a no-nap because he’d be yearning for the pool, but he surprised me with an hour and 20m of bliss. The moment he woke up I stuck him in his trunks and surf shirt, and back we went.

Please note: The water in the pool was SOOH (straight out of hose).

Meaning- this water was cold. Not exactly L. Superior cold, but just about that cold.

But the dude loved it. He kept going in and out, out and in. And dragging with him all sorts of lovely lawn clippings and yard particles. Ick.

And then after a little while he decided it would be fun to DRINK from the pool. (Unfortunately I do not have a picture of this). So he’d submerge his entire face in the water and then look up at me and smile. I of course encouraged all of this- I’m determined to have a water-lover.

Later he discovered the hose. How do you like his little plumber diaper butt there?

So long!

Am I the only who gets the chills simply driving past the airport?

Which reminds me… exactly four years ago, FatJ and I were on a three-week vacation in Spain and Italy. YES. You heard me correctly. FatJ and I VACATIONED, for THREE WEEKS STRAIGHT. In Spain and Italy. (sniff, sniff). Ah, the good old days.

So, exactly four years ago today, we were here:

Toledo, Spain

While in Spain, our home base was Madrid…

Our plaza favorita- la plaza de Santa Ana, por supuesto:

Enjoying a jarrrrrrrrra de sangria:

We did two day trips to Segovia:

And then we went to Barcelona, which is a fabulously-European city, but does not fulfill my SpainLove like Madrid does. They say the third time is a charm, but for my travels to Barcelona, the third time was more of a flop. Mainly because we rented a flat online, which ended up being in the Pakistani ghetto of Barcelona, and we were scared to be out past 8:00pm. Oh, and it was the Feast of St. John, which is pretty much celebrated all night every night for a week surrounding the holiday. SO, there were firecrackers going off and screaming people partying all night long outside of our apt window (which looked out onto a homicide zone).

But anyway, here we are in Barcelona sitting on the world’s longest park bench at Park Guell:

We spent a day at the beach in Sitges…

And from Barcelona we flew to Florence. This is my favorite picture of us EVER:

We managed to eat enough gelato while in Florence to put the capital “F” in FatJ. We also had a brush with fame. That ‘dude’ in the white suit there is Cojo, at a party at Salvatore Ferragamo.

We then made our way to Cinque Terre, and the quaint town of Corniglia. This is the view of the town from the window of our pensione:

(aaaaaah, loverly. If only I had my DSLR back then. And yes, I most certainly WOULD have lugged it around.)

Trying to work off those gelatos on a 5-town hike…

Boats in Riomaggiore- one of the five towns.

The end of our trip found us back in Madrid, with a final night at the Palace Hotel. Uh-huh, yup- the PALACE HOTEL. We used StarPoints. It ruled.

Now, I know keeping up a blog is meant to chronicle things that are happening NOW, but you see, I am not traveling NOW. And I like to travel. And I like to reminisce and be nostalgic for what ‘used to be.’ Even though now is very good. And it appears I also have a need to live vicariously through not only other people’s travels, but by own past travels.

So there ya have it- Europe, four years ago.

Happy Father’s Day, to the goofiest dada a guy could ever ask for…

…that today I bought not one, but TWO magazines. I typically don’t buy magazines these days, as they are SO expensive, and I find I rarely have time to read them anyway. But seeing as how we’re heading to the cabin this weekend, and seeing as how I was headed to Target anyway, I decided I would splurge and purchase one magazine to read while relaxing at the cabin. And I had decided ahead of time it would be an “O” magazine, of course. So I pick up “O”, and then I turn back to the cart to see Ryan dancing (yes, dancing!) to the tunes coming out of the CD display thing next to us. He’s funny. Anyhoo- back to the magazines. I continue down the magazine aisle, and the cover of a People catches my eye. It’s that chick that played Steph on “Full House”. Remember Stephie, the annoying little sister of Deej? So there Stephanie is, all grown up, holding a newborn baby, with the headline “Ex-meth addict and child actress gets her life back together” or something like that, and I suddenly find myself NEEDING to know what happened to poor Stephie and how she managed to get her life back together. But then I think to myself, wait, you can’t buy a SECOND magazine! That’s like throwing $$ down the toilet! And a People of all things- one of the trashiest pieces of journalism out there, after the Enquirer! So I’m pondering buying this dumb magazine, and then in the lower right-hand corner I see a picture of my rocker boyfriend, and…well, you know how it ends. (And FatJ- how did you NOT tell me he was going to be singing the anthem last night?)

…I also bought Sour Patch Kids. And peanut M&Ms. And may have inadvertently eaten 1/2 of the bag of one or the other of them. But not both.

…I also bought vanilla ice cream and root beer. To make fruit beer loats, nonetheless. (hello, father!)

I feel like I haven’t heard from some of my fabulously fun blog-love friends in a long while, so if you’re still out there, still reading my monotony and life-minutiae, leave me a comment and answer me these:

Do you read magazines? Which ones?
Do you eat candy? Which candies?
Do you like root beer floats?

June is historically my favorite month out of the year. Things are summery but not TOO summery (as in hot and gross). But what is up with the weather this year? I do not know. We’ve had some crazy weather- storms and winds and humidity one minute but coolness the next. Here’s a bit on how we passed our second weekend in June…

Saturday: We thought it would be fun to bring Ryan to Como Zoo. At mid-day. On a Saturday. In nice(ish) weather. NOTE TO SELVES: A free zoo, on a Saturday, at mid-day, on a nice(ish) weather day in June, is ALWAYS going to equal no available parking, stroller traffic jams, whiny kids, and grumpy parents. I’m happy to report that I did find a parking spot (a mile away) while FatJ and RyanJ listened to a story about zebras in the zoo entrance. I did manage to get us out of every stroller traffic jam without incident. My child was not whiny. And neither FatJ nor I were grumpy. Hot- yes. Grumpy- no. So we did have a good time. Ryan liked the monkeys and the seal. But most of the animals were pretty lethargic in the heat (can’t say I blame them) and lots of remodeling/reconstructing appears to be going on at Como, so the visit wasn’t as awe-inspiring as I remember it being in the past.

Saturday night: I went to see SATC with my pal Jen. The movie was great- I loved it. It was not too long- we could have sat and watched for another 2-1/2 hours for sure. And a side story about ‘SATC’, the acronym. FatJ has developed a vile hatred for the acronym for this movie. Just before the movie came out, FatJ wondered aloud where that acronym came from. He was quite miffed about it. So then to mock the love of SATC, he pulled out his best valley girl voice, and exclaimed “O.M.G!!! SATC!!! I LOVE that movie!! I’m totally going to see SATC tonight! It’s SOOOO COOL!!!!!” And since I giggled that very first time, FatJ took that to mean I thought he was really funny, and has now been spewing SATC valley-girl speak every chance he gets. You can only imagine the tirade he went on when Jen and I made plans to actually GO to the movie. And the fit he threw when we were unable to find a sitter and was unable to go to the movie with us.

Sunday: We went to a one-year-old’s birthday party. It began as a cloudy day, but got really humid and sunny. Poor Ryan was dressed in jeans, a onesie, and a button-down mini-daddy shirt, so he was a shweaty little dude. He had a great time chasing around the other kids, dumping crayons all over the driveway, and eating a hot dog from a plastic picnic table. Cuteness!

Weekend WHA-WHA???: We did not eat ice cream one time the entire weekend. How this came to pass I do not know. We did, however, partake in doughnut greatness from Baker’s Wife on Sunday. But back to the ice cream…I DID introduce Ryan to DQ on Friday (but Friday’s not technically the weekend). After our trip to Target we were just so famished that I thought it best to swing by the DQ. I ordered Ryan his very first baby cone. He wasn’t so much interested in the ice cream part, but LOVED the cone. He held his cone while I held him in my lap and ate my hot fudge sundae. And the ice cream from Ryan’s cone. I am not one to let DQ go to waste. Anyway, Ryan took his sweet time licking the ice cream out from the inside of his cone, and with every lick he would turn and look up at me with the biggest ice-cream-heaven grin on his face. And then he’d giggle. And then would be right back licking the cone again. I know he was thinking “oh mama, we are soul mates. I will eat DQ with you anytime.” I would post a picture of that whole experience, but I only have a picture of it on my phone (yes- I now own a phone with a camera!), and if there’s a way to upload pics from camera to computer, I most certainly do not know how to do it.

In another post I will have to deliver the story of our Saturday night out from June Weekend #1… until next time, so long!

Today, all of a sudden, as if like magic: HE WALKS.

He’s been leading up to this for more than a month now. Ryan would walk along furniture at first, then would take steps with you holding both his hands, then would let go independently and take a few steps. Then he graduated to holding onto only ONE of an adult’s hands while he walked. Then he would walk a bunch of steps from place to place, but would stop after a few steps to crawl. Or fall down. Or eat a speck of dirt off the floor. But today was the dawning of a new day in Ryan’s world. He now walks. Everywhere. I was doing something in the kitchen and out of the corner of my eye I see this little person literally bopping all over the house. Back door! Pantry door! Through the kitchen and into the dining room and into the living room and around the coffee table and onto the porch and back again to the front door and back again to the kitchen. In a matter of a day, I can officially say my little guy is walking. Yes, he is. And I think it’s THE cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

The video really does not do it justice. I should have had the video camera along tonight when we brought Ryan up to the tennis courts. He walked ALL OVER the place, as if he’s been doing this forever.

And in the world of talking, yesterday Ryan and I experienced a moment of actual verbal communication with one another. We were on a wagon ride, tooling through the neighborhood. Ryan usually likes to fiddle with some object when he rides in the wagon, and this particular day the object of his fiddling was a bottle of sunscreen. Every now and then I would turn around to look at Ryan and make sure he was still strapped into the wagon, and that the sunscreen was still with us on the ride (because the kid loves to throw things overboard during wagon rides.) Anyway, it had been a few moments since I had last turned to check on Ryan, so I turn around, look at him, smile, and say “hi Ryan! How’s the ride going?” And he looks up at me with the most serious look on his face, and says “uh-oh.” And I say “uh-oh WHAT?” I could just TELL that he was actually trying to tell me something instead of just imitating the uh-oh or saying it for no reason like he usually does. So I look in the wagon, and sure enough, the bottle of sunscreen is nowhere to be found. So back we went, retracing our steps to recover the discarded sunscreen. That little bugger.

But real communication! Between mother and son! Now that was special.

And one more note-worthy moment from today (I know- this is getting long-winded. I need to stop babbling about this boy)…we had our last parent/child swim class for this session. I really wanted a picture of Ryan in the pool, but since I have to be in the pool with him there was really no way for me to take a picture without either him or the camera drowning, so pre-swimming lesson bench waiting is the best I could do.