This is my new Target. It’s super. It’s a SuperTarget. It took me 6 minutes to get there. Grand Opening is this Sunday, but rumors have been floating that it would open early. I’ve been stalking the SuperTarget. Yesterday 3:00pm: not open. Today 1:21pm: open. I was ridiculously excited to walk in. As I approached, the automatic doors opened effortlessly. I could almost hear angels singing. I was welcomed by a friendly security guard who handed me a map of the store. I looked around. I could count on one hand the number of people I saw. The store was pristine. Each shelf was perfectly organized, each rack full of neatly hung merchandise. Poor Ryan was stuck listening to my exclamations and songs of joy. Every red and khaki-clad team member I encountered was happy and friendly. They seemed truly excited to be working at this new locale. And why wouldn’t they be? I mean, all your typical Target essentials bundled together with your grocery store in one fabulous bulls-eye package. A sampling of what was purchased today: food processor. socks. butt paste. ball of mozzarella. conditioner. pumpkin hat. pears.

Pretty sure my accomplice and I will be there at least thrice-weekly.