I asked for some ideas to commemorate the blog reaching 10,000+ hits, and the best idea (okay, only idea) I received was to do a special giveaway. I’m going to go with this idea. Here it is- the giveaway of the century:
Be the first person to comment on this post, and you will receive (drumroll, please) one free household pet. Her name is Leila, but you could change it to whatever you want.
Not that you’ll need enticing to participate in this sweepstakes, but here are a few of this animal’s finer points that will make her an asset to your lifestyle:
1. You won’t have to worry about dieting anymore!! This dog is an expert at stealing raw chicken breasts off the counter, peanut buttered bagels off the table, and cheese sticks out of grocery bags. Just prepared a meal for yourself? No worries, you won’t end up eating it, because the animal will kipe it before you can say “bow wow.”
2. You’ll develop a very strong gag reflex!! How could you not when this amazing pet trails messy diapers through your living room, vomits partially digested rawhides at 3:00am, and licks sour baby spit-up off your carpet?
3. You’ll always feel like you’re living in the desert!! Dog hair tumbleweeds will collect in every corner of your home.
4. You’ll never have to buy a new sweater!! Because all of your clothing will automatically turn into fine-quality golden-retriever-fur woven ensembles. It’s the latest look for spring.
5. You’ll develop one finely toned arm!! This will be the result of never-ending tennis ball throwing, leash yanking, and vacuuming.
6. You’ll never have to worry again about scratching your hardwood floor with a piece of furniture or high heeled shoe!! The dog claws will have already taken care of that for you.
7. You’ll never again be bothered by your overly-friendly neighbors!! Incessant barking and hyperactivity from the other side of your fence will have scared everyone away.
8. You’ll never need to spend another day on lawn maintenance!! The backyard pacing, racing, digging, and urinating will all but eliminate any need to spend more than a few moments per summer working on your lawn.
Again, here are the rules: Be the first person to comment on this post, and the extremely well-behaved and well-trained pet described above will be ALL YOURS!!! Let the game begin…