You know those people who sometimes call in sick for really no reason, or who take a “mental health day” off of work? I have never only when I was pregnant once or twice been one of those people. HOWEVER, I think it’s time to turn over a new leaf. And call in sick. And play hookie. And take a mental health breather. From this job where you NEVER GET A DAY OFF.

Don’t get me wrong- I love my job with a passion. But I think my employer and I have maybe been spending a little TOO much TIME together. We’ve kind of been getting on each other’s nerves lately. The employer is a very busy man who refuses to remain idle at any time during the day. While I, on the other hand, like to lay low and chill out in a chair every now and again. Since the employer’s acquisition of new responsibilities such as ‘running’, ‘exploring’, and ‘digging’ have taken place, I don’t feel I’m quite up for the job. I get tired. My back hurts. I can’t fulfill the requirement of “must be able to lift 20+ lbs”. The employer also seems to be transitioning from a two-naps-per-day regimen, to a one-miniscule-nap-per-day schedule. This, as you know, frees up more time in his day for extracurricular activities such as stroller tantrums, changing pad fits, and high chair screams.

I’ve asked, I’ve requested, I’ve tried to negotiate the terms of my employment. At my annual review this past April, I was sadly denied an increase in pay, vacation time, or a personal day.

So I guess what I’m saying is, I’d like to call in sick. For a total of 24 hours. I won’t be leaving any lesson plans, or numbers where I can be reached. I’m confident SubFinder can find me a highly-qualified replacement. For one day. One. It’s all I ask.

As for the employer…

…perhaps he’ll realize what a fabulous, hard-working employee I really am, and will let out nary a whine again.