One rainy day when it was just the three of us up at the cabin this summer, I was stuck in bed for a large portion of the day with a migraine. The weather was crappy so FatJ and Ryan didn’t have the option of playing outside, so even in my migraine misery I was forced to buck up and fill some time with distractions for Ryan. What I came up with was having Ryan lie in bed with me and we had “story time”. I told Ryan a few stories about his mom and dad, and every now and then he will ask to have story time and will list off the stories he wants to hear. Tonight daddy got to tell the stories at the dinner table after we finished eating, and I thought I’d share them here. These are FatJ’s versions of the stories as told to Ryan…slightly different from the originals that I told Ryan over the summer.

The Bat Story

Once upon a time dada was lying on the couch and he heard a rustling noise coming from the kitchen. He thought it was a bat under the sink!! So he went upstairs and woke up mama and told her to come down to help him. So mama came down [me, interjecting: wearing boots for protection] and I handed her a tennis racket and told her to beat the bat when it flew out. [me, interjecting: It was not a tennis racket it was a broom!]. So then dada opened the cupboard door…and we looked in {oh the suspense!}…..but there was NO BAT. There were only …..  {and then Ryan finishes the story and yells} MOUSE TURDS!!! Yes, mouse turds. Turns out the rustling was not a bat but was instead a mouse. Mama made me buy mouse traps and then we trapped about 5 mice over the next month. The end.

The Snake Story

Once upon a time mama and dada went on a road trip to Colorado. This was before we had kids and we could take a vacation whenever we wanted to. Mama and dada were hiking on a path, and there was a man running by from the other way. All of a sudden the man JUMPED off the path, and we looked down and saw a BIG HUGE SNAKE!!!! Mama and dada were very scared. The end.
Ryan, very upset: NO DADA THAT’S NOT THE STORY!!! TELL MORE, WHAT MAMA AND DADA DO????
Me, finishing the story: And then mama and dada screamed and ran away from the snake and then mama screamed some more and jumped on dada’s back. And then mama asked the man who was running by what kind of snake that was and he said A RATTLESNAKE!!! And then mama and dada ran even further away. The end.

The Bubble Car Story

Once upon a time mama and dada went on a trip to Ireland. This was before we had kids and could go on vacation whenever we wanted to. We rented a car when we got to Ireland, and it was a little tiny blue bubble car called a Nissan Micra. Dada drove it all over Ireland and mama never drove. She didn’t know how to drive the bubble car because the steering wheel was on the wrong side. {here we have a small argument about the story telling because it wasn’t that I didn’t KNOW how to drive the car, I just didn’t WANT to drive the car. And then FatJ says YEA you drove it once for about 10 feet and then you got scared and then I said NO I drove it twice, the other time is when you were too drunk to drive us home from the pub so I was forced to drive that night. The end.

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Are these stories destined to become those-stories-that-your-granparents-told-over-and-over-again-every-time-you-saw-them stories???

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