{Yes I do like Nirvana. Does that surprise you?}

{An aside…my husband listens to what I call ‘weird music.’ It’s really not all that bad, but it’s not mainstream and so thus the WorldAtLarge would consider it ‘weird.’ And so I like to consider it weird as well. To bug him. Heh. The other evening he asked for requests on the ipod and I suggested some old school Pearl Jam or Nirvana or U2. THAT’S how I roll.}

Now, on to the apologies.

First, I would like to apologize to every business-casual-wearing professional who witnessed the Spectacle of Epic Proportions yesterday in the cafeteria of MultiNationalCorporation where FatJ works. I’m sorry we were in your way. I’m sorry we didn’t know what food we wanted. I’m sorry my baggage filled with multiple pieces of winter clothing bumped into you. And I’m very sorry you had to hear my child announce that he had to PEE in the middle of the lunchroom. I’m also sorry that you had to hear him screaming at the top of his lungs that he PEED HIS PANTS PEED HIS UNDERWEAR PEED PEED PEED as you were selecting your soggy fries and limp broccoli. The workplace is no place for children. But dudes, isn’t it sorta nice to hear a small dose of reality as you sit in your dreary cube and do really boring corporate tasks all day?? I bet our lunchroom pee scene was the highlight of your day.

Second, I would like to apologize to the driver of the 15-year-old minivan for rear-ending him in an icy intersection yesterday morning. I would also like to thank that minivan driver for being so understanding and kind and having the first words out of your mouth be “are you okay?” How nice it was that you understood how slippery that intersection was and how kind of you to not grill be about whether or not I was DRIVING TOO FAST or FORGOT TO BRAKE. Dudes, we live in MN and sometimes it snows and sometimes it’s icy and sometimes even when you’re driving slow and brake in plenty of time your car still decides to slide forward and hit the car in front of you. And even though you were only traveling at a speed of 2 mph the whole right side of your body may still hurt from the impact.

Third, I would like to apologize to my unborn child for inundating your poor, developing body with sugar. I know I’m creating my own little Sweet Tooth #2 in there, so you probably don’t even care. But still, your mama should probably cut back on the peanut blossoms and bad candy.

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