I have to document this stuff. The way Ryan speaks these days cracks me up. At times endearing, at times hilarious, at times causing me to want to rip my hair out– this child has a way with language that’s all his own.


I was working on painting his new big boy room over the weekend, and I was getting tired of the task.

Me: Ryan, this painting is for the birds!

Ryan: No Mama!! This painting is for Ryan’s ROOM, it’s not for the BIRDS!!


This morning I noticed a box of paperclips had been dumped out in front of the computer. No time to think twice about it as we were rushing out the door. Later in the afternoon Ryan and I were headed downstairs, and he tells me this: Don’t look at that mess down there!! Don’t look at that mess!!

Me: What mess?


Me: Which mess? What room is it in?

Ryan: Don’t look at that mess! Don’t look in that room right over there!!

(I hope he always has this need to admit everything to me!)


While walking through Kohl’s on the way to make a post-Christmas return, Ryan finds himself eye-level with the women’s brassiere department. As we’re walking by he shouts out WHAT ARE THESE MAMA??

Me: Those are bras Ryan.



Continuing on with conversations about things I didn’t think I’d have to talk about quite yet…

This little chat occurred one day when Ryan saw me changing…

Ryan: What’s THAT mama?? (pointing to my, ahem, boob).

Me: That’s a breast.

Ryan: {stares}

Me: Little babies drink milk out of breasts. When the baby in my tummy comes out he will drink milk from there.

Ryan: Yeah!!! When Ryan’s baby comes out of my tummy he’s going to drink milk out of my breasts too!!!!


While digging around in my bathroom cabinet, Ryan finds the feminine hygiene products. Pulls out a tampon…

Ryan: What’s this mama??

Me: Ummm. That’s something that mamas use.

Ryan: Do you eat it?

Me: No.

Ryan- pulling out a panty liner: What’s this mama?

Me: That’s something that mamas use.

Ryan: Do you use this when you go poop?

Me: Um. No.