Today was a big, huge, blah, dreary, dull, funkadelic day here at home. Nick Jr. was on the TV from 3:00-4:00, and then at 4:00 I simply couldn’t face trying to entertain my three year old who lolls around here like a bored adolescent, so I decided we’d watch Oprah. You know, the Favorite Things show, part II. Now, I never watch “my” TV when Ryan is around, so it was pretty funny to see him watching a real TV show with commercials and whatnot. I wish I could have recorded his commentary on the show. Here’s some of it.

[Oprah appears.] He: Who’s that mommy?

Me: That’s Oprah.

He: Did she cut her hair?

Me: Why yes, she does have a different hairstyle from last season.

He: Why are all those people going crazy? Are they all grown-ups? Where are all the mens?

Me: They’re going crazy because Oprah’s about to give them all presents. Yes, they’re all grown-ups.

Me: One time mommy was one of those people in the audience sitting in the red chairs.

He: You were? Did I stay with Grandpa Jer and Grandma Mar or Grandpa Bob and Grandma Karen? Why don’t I see you there on TV, mommy?

Me: Well Ry, that was a long time ago. And if I was there in those red chairs right now, how could I be sitting next to you on the couch? {smiles, smiles}

He: What’s all that stuff mommy? All that stuff falling down?

Me: That would be pretend snow, Ry.

[First gift is revealed. iPad.] He: Look mommy!!!! That’s the computer you just got!

Me: Not quite. That’s the iPad. It’s different.

He: Boots!

Me: Yes, sparkly boots. Those are ugly.

He: LOOK MOMMY SANTA!!!! Santa’s bringing computers to everyone!

Me: Yes.

Me: This is redonkulous. I can’t believe I’m letting you watch this.

He: Why mommy? Why is this redinkolus?

He: Now they’re getting a pie!! A pie! Popcorn?! Santa brings FOOD?!

Me: I guess so. On Oprah, Santa brings pretty much anything.

[Gift cards to Nordstrom to get correct-fitting undergarments are presented].

He: Mommy!! Why are they wearing open shirts???

Me: Okay bud! Let’s head outside now for a walk!

He: NOOOOO! I don’t WANT to go outside.