Ryan. My eldest son. The guy who can make me grit my teeth and jump for joy and seethe with rage and laugh aloud all within the same 5 minute time span. I wish I could somehow record a day in the life with the Ry Guy. The things he says and does are really quite amusing, if you just take a step back and take a look at it all. Here are some glimpses into my exchanges with Ryan. All of this happened just within the boundaries of today.

The Play on Words

His dad and I must be partly to blame for some of Ry’s linguistic prowess. We’re the types that sing nonsense songs and make up words and create little ditties all the time. Whether genetic or learned, Ry has glommed on to this like white on rice. Early on he figured out how to change the words in songs or rhymes to make them funnier. He’s great at rhyming, making up little songs or rhymes himself, and inventing new words. His running commentary is probably 50 percent rhyming and making up stuff that he thinks is super funny. Stuff like,

  • mommy, I’m going to glick you in the tick!
  • I’m going to make a head salad! I’m going to make a picture salad! I’m going to make a table salad!
  • I’m going to bimp that off. Hey mommy, what does bimp mean? (I don’t know.) It means bomp! Sam, I’m going to bomp your head off!

If I say something like “hey Ry, go get your shoes on, please”, he may respond with something like “Bey By, Bo Bet Bour Boes Bon Blease.” He also has all this pent up energy (love?!) that he likes to physically exert upon others, along with a goofy sound or nonsense word. Multiple times a day he comes up to me, grabs my arm, and says something like GRRRRRRRR, MOMMY!! I’m going to GOCK you! Then, there are the times he picks a word and changes, let’s say, the beginning sound a bunch of times and lists off a string of rhyming words, all sung in some high-pitched or growly voice. This is especially amusing when the word is something like “duck” and he replaces the ‘d’ with an ‘f’ sound and proceeds to sing some made up tune with these words, all the while strolling down the cereal aisle at the grocery store.

Plans for the Future

Ryan often talks about things that he’s going to do when he gets bigger or more growned up. Today’s plans for the future were the BEST EVER. Over lunch, he told me the following:

“Hey mommy! When I get bigger I’m going to be the one to feed Sam his food! You won’t have to, Ill do it! Yeah, you won’t have to do it, you can just do your other mom jobs and I’ll feed Sam.” I replied okay, that sounds like a great idea. Then he went on to tell me this: “When I get bigger I’ll do ALL the stuff for you! I’ll feed Sam and cook the soup and fold the laundry! And you can just play and do whatever you want to! Okay?! Yeah! And I’ll read you a book, too! You won’t have to!” And I proceeded to gush and gush and tell him that all this sounds marvelous and wonderful!

Pondering Santa

I was not prepared for the onslaught of Santa questions I’ve had thrown at me the past couple days. Ryan is into the Santa thing big time. We’ve been reading some Christmas books, and you can just see Ry’s wheels a turnin’ as he contemplates this jolly fat man entering out house via the fireplace. Tonight he asked me whose house Santa will go to FIRST. I said I didn’t know, and Ry replied matter of factly, “he’ll come to OUR house first.” He’s also very worried about Santa eating all those cookies and being way too fat to get around. Tonight he told me that he’s planning to save the wrapping paper that comes on the gifts from Santa; he’s going to store the wrapping paper in his room. He also asked if his present from Santa would have a “big bow tie, because sometimes presents have big bow ties, mama!”. I said I didn’t know if Santa’s gift would come with a big bow tie, and he assured me it would. I told him all about the elves helping Santa build the toys and wrap the presents. He asked why Santa couldn’t do it all himself. Then he started analyzing our chimney/fireplace configuration, and I found myself explaining how Santa will jump down our chimney and land in the fireplace, and will come out of the fireplace to leave presents in our living room. [This is such a frightening concept- no wonder kids can’t sleep the night of Xmas Eve!]. Finally, tonight we were reading a book that began with a picture of Santa reading names off his long list of kids. Ry says, “Is my name on there?” And I said, “hm, I don’t know. Santa only brings presents to kids who are good listeners and such.” And he replies “I’M A GOOD LISTENER!!” We thoroughly inspected the list of kid names in that book, and were only able to identify Grandpa Bob’s name as being present on Santa’s list. HA! If all goes well, Ryan will be chatting it up with Santa this weekend at the tree farm. And what is he waiting for Santa to bring him, you ask? This, selected from page one of the Target toy catalog:

{Good thing one of Santa’s finest helpers was able to locate it tonight at Target.}

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