I claimed I wouldn’t go this year, but in a brief moment of lunacy I offered to take both my children to the fair today. Alone.

We spent one hour driving around looking for a park and ride. Turns out the one we always go to? Only open on weekends.

We spent 15 minutes waiting for the bus at the park and ride. During this time Sam had a tantrum about not wanting to wear sunscreen, which drew the attention of innocent bystanders.

We spent 15 minutes riding the bus.

bus

I let my 6yo and 3yo use the outhouses alone while I purchased fair tickets. ($24.00)

It was now beyond lunchtime, so we made a beeline for the first corndog station we could find. And it was indeed a CORNdog, not a pronto pup that we found first. We purchased 3 corn dogs ($12.00) and ate them whilst sitting on dead sod in front of the Senior Citizens building.

corndogs

We went to Ye Olde Mill, stood in a short line and rode through the dark and mysterious tunnels. ($9.75)

mill2

mill

Quick detour to wave at the man in elephant costume at the GOP booth. When offered to have our photos taken with said elephant, my response was a resounding NO.

Went to the DNR building, where the highlight for my boys was sending coins down one of those swirly donation kiosks.

Went to the animal barns, which involved us walking into the rabbits and chickens barn (WTH, why always THIS barn? See last year.) Super Sam adored looking at every single rabbit.

Took a break in some shade. Walked over to the DNR stage where a really poor band was covering Duran Duran’s Rio. This was proclaimed as ‘boring’ by the 6yo, who was also intermittently complaining of a stomachache.

Next we took in the Miracle of Birth barn, where Ryan waited for us inside the metal silo at the entrance because it was simply ‘too crowded’ for his tastes. Sam and I touched a cow and a pig and a goat.

What trip to the fair is complete without a stop to take a poop? All three of us crammed into one stall in the women’s bathroom to see if pooping would make the aforementioned stomachache go away. It did not.

Finally it was time for some Sweet Martha’s. We zipped right up with no line, and ordered a cone full ($5) and a bottled water ($2). We parked ourselves in a lovely patch of dirt and devoured some cookies (Sam=3, me=at least 29, Ryan=1). At this point it was determined that Ryan could not remain at the fair one minute longer- not EVEN to see the tractors- so we made our way back to the bus pick-up spot.

Rode bus back to lot- 10ish minutes.

Pushed stroller with both kids in it back to car- my workout for the week.

Five minutes later we’re on the road and Ryan is barfing into a DNR bag.

Fair thee well! I swear I’m not going next year…

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